Oliver Bateman

Splice Original Archive

The Week in Fights #14 at 08/15/2022 05:55am
The Week in Fights #13 at 08/05/2022 05:57am
The Week in Fights #12 at 07/29/2022 01:20pm
The Week in Fights #11 at 07/22/2022 05:55am
The Week in Fights #10 at 07/15/2022 05:57am
The Week in Fights #9 at 07/08/2022 05:57am
The Week in Fights #8 at 07/01/2022 05:54am
The Week in Fights #7 at 06/24/2022 05:55am
The Week in Fights #6 at 06/17/2022 05:57am
The Week in Fights #5 at 06/09/2022 05:57am
The Week in Fights #3 at 05/27/2022 05:57am
The Week in Fights #2 at 05/18/2022 05:57am
The Week in Fights #1 at 05/13/2022 05:57am
Everything Sucks at 03/03/2022 05:57am
All the News That’s Fit to Print at 01/27/2022 05:55am
The Art of the Cold Take at 10/20/2021 05:57am
Oliver Bateman’s 12 Rules for Life: The Second Half at 08/25/2021 05:57am
There’s a Name I Know at 06/30/2021 05:57am
How the Work Gets Done at 04/14/2021 05:57am
Reflections on Homeschooling Number Two at 04/12/2021 05:57am
Kipping as Ethos at 04/05/2021 05:55am
Reading, Writing, and the Work of Your Brand at 03/31/2021 05:57am
Reflections on Four Years of Homeschooling at 03/29/2021 05:57am
Tommy “Tiny” Lister Played a Wrestler, For Real at 01/13/2021 05:57am
The Year That Wasn’t at 01/06/2021 05:57am
The “Cooties Theory” of Criticism at 11/30/2020 05:57am
The Last Gasp of Tracy Smothers’ Rebel Yell at 11/19/2020 05:57am
The Grifters at 10/29/2020 05:57am
To Fap and Fap Not at 10/22/2020 05:57am
They Called Him Bathroom Bill at 10/12/2020 05:54am
Theses on the Hot Takes at 05/12/2020 05:57am
How to Write Hot Takes at 04/02/2020 05:55am
Nothing More Than Feelings at 03/30/2020 05:57am
Hot Takes Were a Big Mistake at 03/16/2020 05:57am
You Love to See It at 03/04/2020 05:57am
We Write for the Nerds at 02/27/2020 05:57am
Hall Monitors Doing the Work at 02/07/2020 05:57am
O Holy Night at 11/22/2019 05:55am
About Social Media, Mostly at 11/18/2019 05:57am
Time to Get Extremely Offline at 10/21/2019 05:57am
The Kids Do The Work at 10/14/2019 05:57am
Hot Takes on the Rocks at 08/23/2019 05:57am
The Bang Finish at 07/12/2019 05:57am
The Millennial Media Hustle at 06/10/2019 05:57am
First the Tears, Then the Rest at 05/23/2019 05:57am
I Can’t Do This Much Longer at 05/08/2019 05:57am
The World of Fitness Influence at 05/06/2019 05:55am
Nothing But Love Stories at 04/04/2019 05:57am
Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Hottest Take at 02/27/2019 05:57am
Working Man’s Blues at 02/22/2019 05:55am
Pay Your Bills at 02/12/2019 05:56am
A Bold Choice at 02/07/2019 05:57am
The Mysteries of Life at 01/02/2019 05:55am
The Pro Wrestling Bodies of Our Dreams at 12/31/2018 05:57am
Drink Responsibly During the Holiday Season at 12/13/2018 05:57am
I’m Doing Just Fine at Christmastime at 12/03/2018 05:55am
Classic Sports at 11/26/2018 05:55am
The Robot that Won Her Heart at 11/19/2018 05:58am
Brian Powell Lives! at 10/30/2018 05:58am
Brian Powell Wins the Lottery at 10/24/2018 05:56am
The Cool Dad at 10/17/2018 05:56am
The Making of The Brian Powell Story at 10/10/2018 05:57am
Jocks Vs. Nerds at 09/28/2018 05:58am
A Fantasy Divorce at 09/26/2018 05:56am
I Met Roger Mudd at the Package Store at 09/20/2018 05:58am
Micah’s First Day at 09/18/2018 05:57am
The Grad School Blues at 09/12/2018 05:55am
The Fights: Dan Bobish vs. Igor Vovchanchyn at 09/06/2018 05:58am
Pandas, Bro at 08/31/2018 05:56am
Where It All Happens at 08/24/2018 05:57am
The Toughest Men Who Ever Lived at 08/21/2018 05:57am
A Sad End for the Nicest Guy in Town at 08/09/2018 05:57am
The End of the World As We Know It at 08/07/2018 05:59am
The Most Important Hot Take You'll Never Read at 08/02/2018 05:58am
Talking About Practice at 07/17/2018 05:56am
How We Write Our Hot College Comedies at 07/12/2018 05:58am
The Only Rights You Got is Lefts at 07/10/2018 05:58am
A Hot Take Goes Cold at 07/05/2018 05:58am
Hard Fantasy at 06/27/2018 05:56am
The Life and Times of “Herc” Broadsides at 06/20/2018 05:56am
The End of Autumn and the End of Football at 06/05/2018 05:58am
The Hottest Take Ever at 05/23/2018 05:56am
Why It May Not Suck: Michael Bay’s Pain & Gain at 05/21/2018 05:56am
The Greatest Hits Compilation of My Life at 05/16/2018 05:58am
The Robot That Won the Spelling Bee at 05/10/2018 05:56am
Joe Weider and the Perfect Male Body at 05/08/2018 05:58am
The Robot That Ate Her Dreams at 05/03/2018 05:58am
The Biscuit Belt at 04/26/2018 05:58am
A Pizza with Everything at 04/24/2018 05:56am
Almost Very Famous at 04/19/2018 05:58am
Montana and the End of the World at 04/03/2018 05:56am
Is Barack Obama Gay? at 03/22/2018 05:58am
The NFL Draft is a Meat Market at 03/20/2018 05:56am
Your Social Media Brand Doesn’t Matter (And Neither Does Mine) at 03/13/2018 05:56am
Joe Biden, Performance-Enhanced Alpha Male at 03/06/2018 05:56am
Muscle Men Pushing and Pulling Rope at 02/27/2018 05:56am
Mask versus Mask at 02/22/2018 05:56am
Vince McMahon, Man Among Men at 02/20/2018 05:58am
Abdullah the Butcher Bled for His Fame at 02/14/2018 05:56am
Change The Grade at 02/06/2018 05:56am
Behind the Mask at 01/25/2018 05:58am
Starrcade and the End of It All at 01/18/2018 05:56am
Memories of the War at 01/12/2018 05:58am
No More Personal Essays at 01/04/2018 05:56am
More Advertisements for Myself at 12/06/2017 05:58am
The YouTube Generation Is Here, and It’s Awful at 11/30/2017 05:58am
Sex Scenes in Literary Fiction are the Worst at 11/29/2017 05:58am
The Ghost of Meow the Obese Cat at 11/16/2017 05:56am
How to Argue and Win Every Time at 11/13/2017 05:56am
How to Give Good Text at 11/09/2017 05:58am
Big Thoughts About Small Talk at 11/06/2017 05:58am
Heavy Criticisms at 11/01/2017 05:56am
Observing the Cat at 10/19/2017 05:58am
The Tubcat at 10/11/2017 05:56am
Raking Worthwhile Art from Rubbish at 09/21/2017 05:58am
A Lost World at 08/29/2017 05:58am
Twitter as Desperate Void at 06/08/2017 10:37am
Someone We Could Trust at 05/26/2017 05:58am
I Laugh Because I Cannot Cry at 05/11/2017 05:59am
Free Swinging Could-Have-Beens at 04/25/2017 05:57am
The Broader-Based Lunatic Fringe at 04/11/2017 05:58am
Paronnaud's Pinocchio at 04/06/2017 05:58am
My Father's Encyclopedic Obsession at 03/30/2017 05:57am
Exploring Human Nature in Isayama's Attack on Titan at 03/16/2017 03:36am

Alex’s War and Peace at 07/27/2022 06:28am

The Week in Fights #4 at 06/03/2022 06:28am

Oliver Bateman’s 12 Rules for Life: The First Half at 08/24/2021 06:29am

The Critique of Strength in Everyday Life at 07/29/2021 06:28am

It’s Heating Up Out There, Kids at 10/01/2020 06:28am

Do Any Lives Matter? at 08/04/2020 06:29am

Solidarity, Just for Me at 03/18/2020 06:28am

Abolish the Police! at 01/07/2020 06:28am

All the Words I Didn’t Write at 09/10/2019 06:29am

The Day I Was Mickey Mouse at 07/09/2019 06:29am

The New Calves at 04/03/2019 06:28am

God is for Nincompoops at 03/14/2019 06:28am

You Think You Own Our Sexy at 03/13/2019 06:28am

The Littlest Showgirl at 02/21/2019 06:28am

The Many Loves of “Herc” Broadsides at 01/31/2019 06:28am

The Tiniest Glass Slipper at 01/29/2019 06:28am

Selling Out and Moving Up at 01/24/2019 06:28am

The Slammed and Unslammed at 01/22/2019 06:29am

Santa Claus Solutions at 01/15/2019 06:27am

The End of an Era at 01/11/2019 06:28am

Swing Voter at 01/09/2019 06:28am

Cold Takes and Heartbreaks at 12/17/2018 06:28am

The Lives of Others at 11/12/2018 06:28am

Shattered Dreams at 11/07/2018 06:28am

Thomas Kinkade’s Big Secret at 11/05/2018 06:27am

Personal Best at 10/22/2018 06:28am

Wrestling with the Past at 10/16/2018 06:28am

Origen Story at 10/03/2018 06:28am

Thirty Years of Marriage at 09/25/2018 06:28am

A Real Mama Bear at 09/10/2018 06:28am

The Man with the Gold Car at 09/04/2018 06:28am

Pearls Before Swine at 08/29/2018 06:28am

The End of the Affair at 08/16/2018 06:28am

Deep Thoughts in the Woods at 08/14/2018 06:29am

Dodging the Fantasy Draft at 07/30/2018 06:28am

A Degree in Being Correct from the University of Knowledge at 07/24/2018 06:28am

How Wrestler Eddy “Flap” Jacks Met His Match at 07/06/2018 06:27am

Detective Jack Chaser Takes Down the Mob at 07/02/2018 06:27am

When Hot Takes Go Bad at 06/26/2018 06:27am

Jack Chaser and the Santa Stakeout at 06/21/2018 06:28am

Time Man Goes on a Date at 06/18/2018 06:28am

What’s in a Name? at 06/14/2018 06:27am

How Wrestler Eddy “Flap” Jacks Lost the Canadian World’s Championship at 06/08/2018 06:28am

Pillowface Jones Goes to School at 05/29/2018 06:28am

The Eternal Recurrence of the McRib at 04/30/2018 06:27am

All the Things You Can Leave Behind at 04/18/2018 06:28am

All the Time in the World at 04/16/2018 06:28am

Tired of Changing the Subject? at 04/12/2018 06:27am

Hair Gel Kid at 04/10/2018 06:29am

Publish These Facebook Statuses at 04/06/2018 06:29am

On Memory at 03/30/2018 06:28am

Chuck Klosterman Isn’t Any Good at 03/28/2018 06:28am

Fathers and Sons of the Squared Circle at 03/26/2018 06:28am

The British Style at 03/13/2018 05:55am

The Making and Faking of Pro Wrestling at 03/05/2018 06:58am

One Last Chance at Superstardom at 03/01/2018 07:01am

Putting Hard Times on Dusty Rhodes at 02/17/2018 07:03am

The Legend of Dr. Z at 02/13/2018 08:41am

Big Van Vader Was Yuge at 02/10/2018 07:02am

The Ironic Masculinity of Adrian Adonis at 02/08/2018 10:40am

Transphobia in the WWE at 02/06/2018 07:01am

Extreme Championship Wrestling, Where Everyone Took It Like a Man at 02/02/2018 07:00am

Ted Arcidi and the Enduring Quest for Mass at 01/31/2018 09:30am

“Playboy” Buddy Rose, the 217-Pound Man at 01/29/2018 07:00am

Rick Rude, the Imperfectly Perfect Man at 01/27/2018 07:01am

Crusher Blackwell, Blessed with Bigness at 01/22/2018 07:00am

The Year I Wrote Nothing But Opening Paragraphs at 01/12/2018 10:04am

The Inner Lives of My Office Supplies at 01/09/2018 10:10am

Hot Take Me Out at 01/06/2018 07:02am

Mike Mamula, the Almost Perfect Man at 01/03/2018 07:01am

The Virtual University of Tomorrow... Today! at 01/02/2018 07:02am

How to Write Sentences at 12/28/2017 07:01am

Surf Planet USA at 12/26/2017 07:00am

One of the Best Games I Never Played at 12/12/2017 09:31am

The End of My Career on the Internet at 12/09/2017 07:01am

The Biggest Baseball Player Who Never Was at 11/14/2017 10:50am

Three Failed Prospects at 10/27/2017 09:44am

The Mostly Forgettable Orestes Destrade at 10/26/2017 07:31am

The Donruss Cardinals MVP at 10/25/2017 07:00am

It Was Supposed to Be a Good Time at 10/24/2017 07:00am