1. Learn the art of flirting. Seriously. We spend so much time on dating websites and apps that we forget how to flirt in real life. So! Strike up a conversation with the cute boy at the bar, coffee shop or the Ace Hotel or wherever cute boys gather near you. Flirt, bitches, flirt!
2. Try to learn a little something about intersectionality, especially in these dark times. Intersectionality is the way that race, class, gender and sexuality are basically one and the same. You can’t have one without the other. That means when you talk about class you’re also talking about race and gender and sexuality, too. If you’re a white gay male, think about how your whiteness is reflected around you. Think about how those environments might affect other people who don’t look like you.
3. And speaking of white people, girl. It’s time for you queens to get interested in political causes and things that don’t just affect white people! Let 2017 be the year you see beyond yourself. If you see a guy on Scruff who says he’s only into “white and Latino,” call his ass out! If you go to a party and the entire line up of DJs is white men, speak up! If you go to a panel discussion and everyone is white, snatch somebody’s wig! It’s one thing if a person of color says something and it’s completely different if you do. Use your privilege to initiate change. Don’t be complicit in the lie.
4. Why not shoot someone a friendly “hello!” before you fire off 22 dick pics? And while we’re on the subject of pics, can headless torsos please stop demanding face pics.
5. Understand that your body is beautiful the way it is. If you want to go to the gym for health reasons, by all means, get life. But don’t fall to the pressure of unrealistic body standards and norms that tell you only certain types of bodies, body weights, or amounts of muscle mass are beautiful.
6. Look in the mirror and be enough for you.
7. Whether your relationship is open, monogamous or monogamish, communicate more with your partner. Most break-ups, fights, and hard feelings stem from secrecy and lack of communication. Do yourself and everyone else around you a favor and speak now before it’s too late.
9. If someone matches you on tinder, write back for fuck’s sake! What’s the point of collecting a bunch of “likes” and then never messaging anybody? You might be missing out on the flame of your life.
10. Support your local gay bar/club before it closes because you’re spending too much time on Grindr and not enough time pounding drinks at the bar.
11. Please help put a stop to terrible kissers. We all have stories about the one guy who treated your face like an ice cream cone, which, wow, and then we laugh with our good, good Judy’s about them. But then these no good, very bad kissers are allowed to roam free without being called out, inflicting their tongues and copious saliva onto helpless others. In 2017, we can put a stop to them once and for all.
12. Try going on a date with a guy who isn’t exactly your type. Sure, I have a type, or several types, and I’m sure you do, too. But if you’ve ever wondered why you’re still single, maybe it’s because your “type” keeps getting in the way. One of my good friends found the love of his life by realizing that his “type” wasn’t exactly working for him.
13. Talk to people who are outside of your own echo chamber if you really want to see change in 2017. Is your friend group all the same gender, political background, race, class, or nationality? Ask yourself why and figure out ways to diversify.
14. Let’s make 2017 the year we put a stop to “masc 4 masc,” once and for all. Expand your sexual horizons, my queens.
15. Stand up for the rights of women, trans people, people of color, and the intersections of all of these, because these are the people who will suffer the most under Trump’s administration. Get your racist aunties and uncles together!
16. Pick up a new hobby, find a new passion, whether that’s a new language, learning a new instrument or sport or taking a cooking class. Life is already boring enough, what with shuttling between home, work and the couch day in and day out. Keep yourself active.
17. 2017 is going to be one hell of a year. Now’s the time to be gayer than ever, and more in your face. The upside in dark political times is that queer art and creativity are more necessary than ever. Make sure your voice is heard.