Jan 05, 2016, 10:10AM

New Year's Resolutions I Didn't Make

Hope for 2016.

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1. Stop urinating in the corners of every room.

2. Avoid the urge to growl back when the puppy growls at me. 

3. Start viewing my classroom as if I am an astronaut discovering a new planet.

4. Grind my teeth less when I am sleeping.

5. Avoid repeating myself except when absolutely necessary.

6. Only read books, not devices, in bed.

7. Stop pretending I will eventually prioritize reading all those books.

8. Resist the urge to hit the snooze button, because when you snooze you might lose something.

9. Find more relatively cheap sushi places and order food from those places.

10. Sit down every morning with the Tibetan singing bowl and breathe deeply for ten minutes.  

11. Remove Twitter from my phone.

12. Remove my phone from my pocket.

13. Remove my pocket from my pants (and put my keys and wallet somewhere else). 

14. Remember to type "smile" at the beginning of the Amazon URL. 

15. Lie down on the floor and tussle with the dogs more often.

16. Put the coffee beans in the grinder before I go to bed. 

17. Say "Hello," and "Goodbye," to more strangers. 

18. Say "No, thank you," when the little puppy growls at me.

19. Continue to say, "No, thank you," when students make ridiculous noises.

20. Avoid unnecessary arguments, but remain passionate.

21. Only make absurd lists, not real lists or imaginary lists.

22. Drink more tea after noon.

23. Fully accept imperfection.

24. Listen all day and then find some time to write at night. 

25. Stop sending myself links to read later. 

26. Find a way to keep writing.

27. Stop setting unrealistic goals. 

28. Stop short-changing myself.

29. Continue changing my under shorts every day. 

30. Continue the internal dialogue. 

31. Repeat myself when necessary.


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