Aug 30, 2013, 10:14AM

It Is the Beatles in German

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Would it be considered gauche to hang a sign on the tip jar that reads “My Only Form of Compensation”?

Would I get fired?


Maybe, “In Lieu of an Hourly Wage.”

Or, “Keep Me Under The Table.”

The implicit subtitle of Cash Only.

If not, “Keep My Boss Rich and Tax-Evasive.”

There was an article recently about how the sound of a coffee machine stimulates creativity. I wonder if everyone here read that article.

What’s wrong with their homes?

They keep me company, in a way, but mostly they just take up space.

There are a certain number of customers you want to have loafing about a coffee shop. Too many, you deter others; too few, you deter others.

Both ways, you make no money.

I love it when they feel obligated. That guy who comes up to the counter to get another coffee exactly three and a half hours after he first got here. He’ll leave me another two quarters, then.

Sweet Jesus, this playlist is awful.

It sounds like the Beatles, but it’s German.  

I wish we didn’t have outlets. That all their laptops would just shut down and stay shut and they’d scurry to the exit.

Ugh. Here comes the one who’s friends with the owner, who gets everything for free, and never leaves a tip.

The next person to order a Mocha will meet my wrath.

How many of them are actually unemployed?

Those two definitely met online.

Here’s the owner. Wave, smile, and tell him you’re great. Now go restock.


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