Jan 20, 2017, 09:47AM

Quibbits on the Move

Rooster doesn’t feel like going to D.C. today.

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—Holy FUCK wha-

—Let’s get up.

—What time is it…

—We should go.


—I want to go to the Inauguration. It looks crazy. Let’s go. It’ll be fun. And scary!

—Wait, what…

—It’s five a.m.! We have to go now!

—Isn’t it like a seven-hour drive…

—Yes! Exactly! If we leave now we’ll make it just in time!

—Doesn't he get… doesn’t he get sworn in at 11?

—I don’t know, shut up, let’s go!

—Monica. I don’t want to go. I already… we already talked about this. It’s going to be such a bitch getting there and getting back. I mean forget about it. There’s going to be thousands of freaks out on the streets and the streets will be really hot.

—We love hot!!

—Like, frying pan hot… holocaust hot…

—Don’t say that.

—I’m just… don’t talk to me before I’ve had my coffee. Heh.

—Get a bag ready, I already loaded the guns. 


—They’re in the car, let’s go.

—We own guns?

—Just get in the van.

—We own a van?

—You bought it!

—I stole it. That was during my whole… crazy period. Lots of stuff happened. I ended up with a van. Big whoop. I’m not taking it out of this town.

—Let’s just go. It’ll be fun. 

—Really, Monica? Really? Is it really going to be fun being around a bunch of a really angry people with guns and racism? Um, no thanks. Check, please! Heh.

—Stop doing that. 

—What? I can be funny sometimes. 



—What are you, Beavis and Butt-Head?

—I don’t know him. Are you seeing someone else?

—Listen. I’ve been watching the news. Reading the papers. I haven’t heard or seen anything of John Boehner in months. He’s gone. He can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe with me.

—…I still don’t want to go. He always shows up at the worst times. I’ve been dreading waking up on day here and seeing his ugly fucking sad mug staring at me through the barn door. I wish he were dead.

—Well, that’s a bit harsh. That man went through a lot.

—So did I.

—Okay, well. Life is about living. Not sitting around and doing nothing. You’re wasting away, Roo. You’re all rag and bone.

—Stealing my line much?

—You’ve been acting like a baby, and I’m kicking you in the butt to get out and do good work even if it’s uncomfortable and scary because I love you.

—Well, good. I’m still not getting out bed.


—Not yet.


—Let’s go kayaking later today… in the day. Ahh. Heh. 

—Well, I’m leaving. I’ll see you in a few days. 

—Okay. I’m falling asleep.

—I love you.

—I love you, too.

Three hours later, Monica was wide-eyed on the highway, making good time. She’d be in D.C. by 10:30, 11 tops. The dead drop was ready. Bennington was waiting for her near the Watergate Hotel. He swears it was a coincidence, not anything symbolic. They were waging war, making plans. Rooster was still asleep.

—Follow Rooster Quibbits on Twitter: @RoosterQuibbits


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