Average Goddess for The Average Man!
Neither to the left nor to the right
But firmly in the middle of the road
And lift our dull voices
In self-satisfied consensus,
To sing a song of thanks!
You confound the proud and confuse the thoughtful
They trip and stumble before your outstretched foot!
Thou hast laid low the haughty
Reduced the proud
Silenced the debate
And rebuked the arrogant!
To us, your unquestioning faithful
You give the needed balance
To sit securely on the fence
Of untutored mediocrity
And stare into the cloudy mirror of self-reflecting certainty!
Thou hast brought us recognized standards
Thou hast revealed the cautious path
Thou hast freed us from the complexities of conscious existence.
We thank thee for our self-righteousness
And for all our easy answers
We thank thee for the cowardice of our conformity
And for our half-baked opinions
Composed of easy-to-remember buzz-words
And the stock phrases we call arguments;
We thank thee for our lack of critical faculty,
Our half-baked judgments,
And for our unquestioned obedience
To authority in all its forms;
We thank thee for the security of our cages
And the safety they have brought.
We thank thee for the wisdom of your ever-babbling Oracle:
We thank thee for your purchased experts
Who, singing in peer-reviewed chorus
Free us from the necessity to think
Allowing us to feel good about ourselves
And not see the walls of ignorance
Which have risen and surround us.
Upon our bended supplicant knees
With our unified wagging tongues
And our averted eyes
We amplify thee
And give thee thanks:
Greatly pleased in the unending echoes
Of our own unquestioned voices.