Feb 18, 2014, 06:32AM

No Hair, No Gold

Shaun White and Samson: both lost without their locks.

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I’m convinced that Shaun White lost the gold because of his hair. I mean, everyone knows the two-time Olympic gold medalist can put it down on the half pipe like no one else. What was the difference this year?

Some critics question his dedication to the sport, saying he was too distracted to conquer the Olympics. After all, White admits he is not the “Flying Tomato” anymore. He says he’s now an international businessman. The last few years have been spent building his multi-million dollar empire with endorsements from Oakley, Target and other big names. Red Bull built him his own half pipe that is accessible only by helicopter. I guess profit-wise, he’s kind of a big deal.

White’s presently filming a documentary and seemed anxious to finish the Olympics to go on tour with his band “Bag Things.” But I’m convinced he lost because of his hair. According to Biblical accounts, Samson was given supernatural powers in order to conquer his enemies and perform heroic feats. Pictures of Samson are awesome; he’s totally buff with long hair flowing about him. Samson was the alpha male. He could slay lions. He could slay entire armies with only the jawbone of an ass. Like White, he was invincible and at the top of his game.

But without his hair, Samson was powerless. Did White fall for the wiles of making money and not gold? White’s most identifiable feature was his long flowing red hair.  Not anymore. I think he had a Samson moment.


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