May 06, 2016, 10:56AM

Samples Drake Should Have Employed on Views’ Vision of Celebrity Zenith as a Cold, Existential Wasteland

The cries of mating penguins, among others.

Drake views album cover.jpg?ixlib=rails 2.1

The sound of a Triple Fat Goose jacket being zipped up.

Cubes of ice rattling in a highball glass that is, otherwise, almost as empty as Drake’s own soul.

A sample of Freeway growling, “it’s a cold winter,” from “What We Do” on Philadelphia Freeway.

The snap of a frozen Kit Kat bar, fresh from the freezer.

Dozens of random “Ice-Bucket Challenge” videos memorialized on YouTube.

Drake and 40, his producer, pouring frosty 40-ouncers of malt liquor on their smart phones, in imitation of a Galaxy S7 commercial where Lil Wayne and his coterie entertain themselves in a similar way.

The slicing roar of arctic winds in sub-zero temperatures.

Interstitial chatter from Drake’s informal barroom summit with ex-Arab Strap singer Aidan Moffat.

Speed Skates scraping the surface of an ice rink, perhaps at Rockefeller Center.

The bells of Big Ben tolling for Drake and only Drake.


Register or Login to leave a comment