Jul 30, 2018, 05:56AM

Freedom of Choice is a Fantasy

Gluttons for punishment paying the price at the slaughterhouse of original sin.

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The business of evil comes in a variety of entrepreneurial offerings without any real choices. Plastic-shaped objects of desire for sale. Sparkling to dazzle the consumer driven mind. Cornering the market on evil commodities. Oil, weapons, fast food, it doesn't matter. We sell a bit of everything. We have the ability to pick the dumb stuff we don't need along with all the important life-altering decisions that we don't want to face and leave behind untouched, still in the cosmic dust box. Freedom of choice is a fantasy. All that glitters is our stardust. A bright light bouncing off the vast darkness.

The last vestiges of white heritage grasp straws trying to sell life on the layaway plan. Rent to own a brand new privileged lifestyle. Trying to figure out the deficit. Get a new lease on old tired bodies. The tradition of moral values for sale geared toward the arrogant preservation of our own discounted ruin. Unwitting dolts and idiots of our special undoing. Believing in equality, democracy and the powerless devaluation of voting for whomever, whatever the cost. The obnoxious extreme white Christian racist race has a superiority complex down at the mall. Gluttons for punishment paying the price at the slaughterhouse of original sin waiting in way too long lines for frozen yogurt. It seems like this whole town’s insane.

It was always us or them... and they're outnumbered a million to one. We could crush them with a sideways glance, the sheer force of safety in numbers. The rich get richer and the poor get the door. The upper crust offers crumbs. It’s all sewn up in a tidy caboodle of feckless feces. We gnaw the bones of our doom. Why is it that everyone acts like this is the first time we've been so easily hornswoggled? Two-bit virgins of reality duped into believing this is a new plague upon us. Time is the evil necessity that steals life away. A hostile takeover, robbing our senses and stripping souls for filthy lucre. Turning pockets inside out and opening wallets with the gravity of sheer ownership by force.

The world wide evil empire rules the day and business is always booming. Please allow me to introduce the supreme leader and CEO, Lou Cypher. He goes by many names in the netherworld. You've heard those names whispered at board meetings in purgatory and office conference calls in limbo. He is infinitely sexier than any mere god of goodness sporting great balls of fire. A man controlling every aspect of the business plan. His politico puppets, talking heads, and religious wacko zealots dot the map from here to the ends of the earth. The scientists of reason go ignored.

How many lemons can be sucked? Who put the con in confidence? A sucker born every nanosecond buys into the myth of chasing dreams down dark alleys praying for death with promises of better living only to be mugged and sodomized in their own lonely rooms. No walk in the park for sleepwalking dissatisfied customer service representatives. That tired old "all of us are created equal" crap in theory may not be here in these repetitive times. Go to the complaint department. Put it in the empty suggestion box.

The brick and mortar mom-and-pop mentality of the crafty boutiques buy local keeping it all in the family farm fresh ideals. Merely another organic all-natural hallucination to shoppers at pipe dream Superstores. The Hades Incarnate Corporation is the gravy train meal ticket on the fast track of corporate go-getters going straight to hell via Wall St. sidetracked at the carry out all night liquor store. The stock market fluctuation fibbers tell easy drunk lies in the eternal fire and brimstone sermons of big savings salvation. It's deep discounts at the tabernacle of buyer’s remorse. The public eats it up and always comes back for more slashing prices like a machete-wielding maniac on a permanent speedball chugging cheap vodka run amok in the streets screaming, "I can get you a better price!"

The essence of pure unadulterated evil for a fair price is our goal, we strive to give you more bang for your buck. Bigger and better wars. Murder in the streets. Mass shootings. Gigantic hate and racism. Greater disasters and calamities to satisfy your buying power. We have it all only for you. Here at Hades Incarnate Corporation we put our faithful customers first. Offering the finest negativity money can buy. Let us cater to your every whim. Faithful servants of our unique demonic stylish imprint. Only the finest quality highest ratings in Consumed Reports and Better Hells and Gardens.

We blame god for every heavenly scheme gone belly up, bankrupt scapegoats of tangled askew views of a world gone broke. Only god can forgive your money back guarantee. All others pay in blood. We pay on credit. Offering total refunds to every prince and princess of darkness who holds a warranty. You scored too low on your last free credit report. Stock markets crash and empires crumble but Hades Incarnate Corporation leads the pack. Decadence and depravity be damned. Count those stacks of dollars.

There’s a reckoning that must paid out way in advance to keep the ball bouncing and the game going. A heavy price you can take to the bank of no return. Take it out in trade or barter your soul to stay solvent. The books are cooked in balance to the house rules. Invest in the short sale or the long con. We make magic happen at a minimal cost. The root of evil points to the heavens and declares it a bad investment. Insider trading in backroom bars and warehouses of ill repute. Keeping the hellhounds at bay, the bill collectors away and keep out the lords burning rain.


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