Pop Culture
Oct 29, 2010, 01:03PM

No, I'm Not Dressing Up!

You're not a kid anymore.

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Listen, everybody: I’m not going to your Halloween party. I know, I know. I’m sorry, but I refuse. This has gone on long enough. It’s a kid’s holiday. A kid’s holiday. What don’t you get about this? Look, let’s just set the record straight.

This is Halloween:


This is not Halloween:


I wish it were, I really do. I like big-titted skanks as much as the next guy. But there’s a reason we gave kids Halloween. They need one day a year when they can dress up like a princess or Wolverine, because we don’t let them do that normally. We can’t. Imagine all the maladjusted weirdos we’d have on our hands. But you’re old. You can dress like that whenever the fuck you want. That’s one of the nice things about being old. No one can stop you from putting on a cape or a stovepipe hat or a slutty nurse costume and walking around like that all day long. Hell, if you wanted to, you could even go to med school, take up heavy drinking, and be a real-life slutty nurse. You’re old. That life-path is open to you, and I support it.

So by all means, go to a haunted house, have some friends over and watch bad horror movies, carve jack-o-lanterns, etc. but leave the costumes to the kids.

First photo: Roamer61; Second photo: Colorado Scenics

  • halloween is just an excuse for girls to dress like sluts and have it not be a problem. understandable; i still like to dress up though for the same reasons i did when i was a kid: it's fun, and awesome and refreshing to do something silly on a large scale.

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  • oh come on! it's fun! everybody in nyc will be walking around i n costumes, and it will be hilarious!!! brightens up te day, dude.

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  • while i can agree adult halloween has gotten a bit out of control, i can't honestly say it should be limited to kids. Trick-or-Treating, ok, but you have to realize that just because you age doesn't really change a whole lot. You go to school everyday when your a kid and now you go work everyday as an adult. minus some of the exceptions the majority of the people who dress up and go out don't want to any other day. it's just the day where you're encouraged to dress up and still be able to fit in, in whatever your doing. and not to totally bash your article but i don't really see the similarity St. Patty's Day has with Halloween, unless you dress up as a leprechaun that is.

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  • I signed up specifically to tell you, Zach, that you're an idiot. If you knew anything about the origins of halloween you'd know that it is quite appropriate for adults. But I guess I'm assuming to much to expect someone who writes out of their ass to know anything they're talking about. What we have now is a corporate holiday. Same as Christmas. Same as Easter, same as St patties day. It's been whored out and exploited as much as possible to make money for people. Also I have friends who have birthdays on the 26th and 31st of October. Why not dress up for a halloween costume birthday party? Asshole. Just because you're a weirdo who doesn't like celebrating festivities doesn't mean you have to rain on our parade. go fuck your self. Have fun being a drooge in your basement apartment writing shitty articles about why you think shit sucks when everyone else is having a good time outside with their friends.

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  • Is this because I called you a big-titted skank?

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  • I have to agree with the commenter "youranidiot" than you are, in fact, an idiot. Whatever the origins, for most people Halloween is just a frivolous holiday that is intended to be fun. You know, fun? Remember fun? Well, maybe you don't, but that's what everyone without a stick in their ass will be having. Twist a little, apply some serious elbow grease, and maybe then you can break your vice-like grip on it. Idiot.

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  • You seem like a very confused individual. 1st off I'm a dude 2nd you're an idiot 3rd Have fun being a drooge in your parents basement writing shitty articles about why you think shit sucks when everyone else is having a good time outside with their friends.

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  • Droog doesn't have an E on the end. Unless you're talking about Judith Van Drooge. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQIE-A8TV08

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  • I love how the only argument you have is about spelling. Doesn't change the fact that you're still dumb. By the way I had an awesome costume birthday party...what did you do? probably obsessed over my drooge word all night.

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  • Pics or it didn't happen, dude.

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