Pop Culture
Jun 26, 2008, 06:36AM

Mr. Wrong

Our wired-in columnist hears a lot of television discrimination in all the Tim Russert eulogy hatred. All those Interneters need to step off and let the man be mourned by his friends.

Russert.jpg?ixlib=rails 2.1

Jesus Christ, I don't usually apologize for anything in the "Mr. Wrong" space, but I got a little more semi-politics stuck all up in there between my teeth and I need a toothpick on account of it's driving me insane, so here it is, sorry.

This Tim Russert from the Meet The Press Teevee show, which is about news and politics and whatever, he died. I used to watch the show on Sundays when it was on at 11 a.m., but then it got moved to 10 and so that was kinda it for me watching on the regular, but I'd usually catch it later when it repeated on C-SPAN or some place else on the Cable, and there was nobody who ran a TV talking-head show like this Tim Russert. Nobody. And there was no hollering, pretty much, except when that clown James Carville would come on. It’s worth belaboring the point it's too bad Russert's gone and it's worth taking a look at his life and what he was about, and sure, lotsa Teevee newsies all over went way-long on remembrances of his work on the Television and in the government and the politics and errbody's talking about how he was a pretty good guy, and it was in all the newspapers all over, because everybody who had some space wanted to weigh in, but it was really crazy-big on TV.

Then people start bitching about the whole thing on the Internet, which is what it's there for, and yeah, sorry, now I'm bitching about the bitching, infinity-squared-times-infinity-held-up-in-a-roomful-of-mirrors, but man, it's like, people are not being happy with how somebody else on the Television deals with somebody on TV dying? On Teevee? Isn't that like a First Amendment thing or something? Power of the Press? And yeah, all these motherfuckers in the Teevee Media have got the E-Z access to the microphone and the camera, and they are talking, right, endlessly it seems, about this guy on the Teevee they knew on Teevee and how it was too bad he checked out on the early wake-up and he said this and that, but hey, it's not the only microphone and camera, right? Lotsa free bunny-ears broadcast channels? Million-kabillion Cable channels? Internet? Websites? Blogs? "Real" news on tap 24-7, on demand? No news cycle anymore, really? Right?
C'mon, don't tell people how to remember people, man, it's, I dunno, rude or something. Go High Road, man. Sometimes, when somebody dies, and they are nice, or even if people just kinda like 'em for whatever reason, then people get a ‘lil bit misty-eyed and they wanna talk about it. It's corny, I know, but it happens! Even sometimes when it's a buncha crazy-wealthy show-biz pros of News on the News who already get lotsa camera time. There wasn't anything in it for 'em other than a few more seconds on the TV screen, was there? What's the big fucking deal?

The Important comedian George Carlin just died, and right now on the Cable, on the Home Box, it's hours and hours of George Carlin comedy shows, and that's a pretty good way to tip the lid, yes? There will probably also be shows featuring comedians talking about George Carlin, and since most of his later output was either live or on the Home Box, it'll all be running there. Do you wanna bitch at the Home Box for serving itself up like that?

Seriously, sometimes people gotta chill the fuck out and concentrate on complaining about shit that actually affects them or something. I mean, it is Television. There are different channels on it. It has an on/off or power button somewhere on that thing. You're gonna bitch about what, how it's a waste of time to roll some fucking video on a guy who steady busted his ass on Teevee?

I'm trying to think of somebody else who died who people thought they knew somehow, even though they didn't, like maybe that horse Barbaro, the one who died a coupla years ago after being hurt running in the Triple Crown? That was pretty annoying how all those people got sad about a horse. Or maybe Kurt Cobain, who made the ass-kicking Rock Music. I bet a lot of people are still kinda bummed that guy is dead, and it's too bad. That guy was a depression case and it's just too bad. Still.

Anyway, Tim Russert was a super-motivated guy who had this crazy gleam in his eyeballs because he was having the Best Time Ever doing his job, and I think a lot of the Media Freaks who were yakking about him and getting quoted were genuinely bummed that this big ball of energy had winked out, especially before this whole Election bullshit got settled. Maybe that's what bothers some people, eh? The guy was riding high on all the action, and you could tell how much he loved it, and he was all over the Teevee and he would even do regular quick phone-talks on radio stations to shill what was coming up on his Meet The Press show, and he went to church and he had a family and he thought his dad was a hell of a guy.

Scrutinizing that is not thinking somebody's a Saint, that's just like: Damn. Good family. Hard fucking worker. Respect. I mean, the guy spent huge chunks of his life on Television, and he Owned that shit on Sunday morning, so why shouldn't he get more time? It's not a scarce Natural Resource or anything like that, you know? Teevee is the Infinitely-selectable Infinite, and Television gets to mourn Its Own in any fashion it sees fit. How much TV News do you watch, all you people who Don't Like How Others Dealt With Some Teevee-Guy's Death? A lot? Probably not. You probably watch almost zero, or you monitor-watch enough to stay on top of discussing it. You are not an Aficionado. And yeah, I see this not as a Hate on Tim Russert, oh no, it's way deeper, man. It's Hatred of Television.


Register or Login to leave a comment