Today, I’ve decided to go ahead and do what every would-be and established comedian ought to be doing and pay respects to the late and brilliant George Carlin. This can go down one of two ways: you can either skip the videos below this paragraph and read it like any old post, or go ahead and click play on the one to the left to listen to the audio version of the 7 words you can’t say on the internet, which I felt compelled to make if only to stay true to the format of Carlin’s original 7 Words You Can’t Say on Television (conveniently placed directly to the right).
I love the Internet…it’s my teacher, my job, my lover with a thousand vaginas…so I want to talk about the Internet, and especially words on the Internet. Because besides pictures, movies, numbers, sounds, and flash animations of people dancing in silhouette about their APR, words are all we really have on the Internet.
So unless you get off on hitting refresh all day, then there are words that you kind of…stop using on the Internet. Because let’s face it: unless you’re browsing through pornography, and that’s only about sixty percent of the time, there’s still a bare level of human decency that most people seem to expect. And there are seven words you just can’t post without risking becoming the one-man figurehead of the losing side of a flame war. You want to know what they are?
Nigger, cunt, faggot, Zigheil, Scientology, baby-rape and meh.