Pop Culture
Jun 29, 2015, 02:11PM

A Giant Leap Second for Mankind

Take full advantage of it.

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Tuesday will not be like any other Tuesday when it comes tomorrow. It will contain an extra second, in order to work out the kinks in our astronomical and atomic clocks. The financial markets are spooked by the idea that an extra second will be built in to the day, around the globe. As we take a minute to consider this extra second, here are a few suggestions on how to spend it:

  1. Think about the mostly arbitrary nature of time as we conceive of it.
  2. Blink once. Your eyes may be getting dry.
  3. Pet a dog. Or a cat. Or a rabbit. Or an insect. These creatures are sometimes neglected.
  4. If you happen to be using the toilet when leap second arrives, just sit for one extra second.
  5. Look out of a window. Things are always happening.
  6. Watch one second of the Women’s World Cup. You might see a goal, though probably not.
  7. Begin calling someone you love. You can use this time to tap your “phone” icon.
  8. Take a step. One step, in any direction. You’ll have momentum when leap second passes.
  9. Do some long-term planning. Next month. Next trip. Next year. Oh wait, that takes time.
  10. Brush one tooth. You’ll have to prepare by having the toothpaste already on the toothbrush, and you’ll need to be very close to the sink when leap second arrives.
  11. Consider institutional racism and mass incarceration. That one second will be more than most Republican nominees will have spent on either thought.
  12. Stand in line. Oh. You say, you’re already doing that. If only lines lasted mere seconds.
  13. Speaking of standing in lines… here’s a thought: when we stand in line, we always consider our time very valuable. When we binge watch television shows, we rarely consider how valuable our time is.
  14. Consider the way we use the word “leap.” Leap of faith. A game of leapfrog.
  15. In San Francisco, “leap second” will occur at 4:59:60. Sadly, there will be no parade.

—Follow Jonah Hall on Twitter: @darkoindex


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