Jan 21, 2009, 08:04AM

"The New England Wheat Grass"

PETA is at it again. This time the targets are NFL team names.

I don't think the writer needs to be condescending to make his overall point. The quotes he gets are more than enough:

“Her agenda entails a complete move away from animal mascot names, as this simply exacerbates the outdated male attitude of ‘homo sapiens first’. We at PETA want a more modern take on professional sports and we think names that reflect modern attitudes should prevail.”

When I ask for specific examples, I am met with steely (forgive the pun) resolve.

“I, and the majority of PETA members, think the following examples exemplify the kind of attitude the NFL should take”, and here she begins ticking off fingers, smiling to herself as she recites the following:

“The Chicago Desk Chairs, the Arizona Sandbox, the Philadelphia Ceiling Tiles, the Baltimore Happiness,  the Atlanta Closure, the Detroit Freedom for Free Range Beef, the Denver Positivity, the St. Louis Lifetime, the Tampa Bay Milk, the Dallas Therapy Session, and,” she smiles coyly, “. . . the New England Wheat Grass.”

“I came up with that one myself.”


Register or Login to leave a comment