Splicetoday

Sex
Apr 20, 2009, 10:37AM

Oh mother of God, shoot me in the face right now...

No, no, no. It's just wrong. IT'S WRONG!

In the worst news I’ve ever heard in my life, a porn company is offering $1 million to Britain’s Got Talent star Susan Boyle to make a video in which she loses her virginity.According to a press release from porn company KickAss Pictures, the company is offering $1 mil for the rights to the 47 year-old budding star’s hymen. Quotes from KickAss president Mark Kukilis:“The logical extension of that statement is that she’s still a virgin. We have always wanted to produce a movie in which a bona fide virgin loses her maidenhood on camera. That’s a very personal, intimate moment in a woman’s life. Doing it in front of bright lights and cameras in a San Fernando Valley studio will make it that much more special.”“We want real sexual chemistry. Since we have no way of knowing what Susan’s ‘type’ is, we’ll introduce her to a variety of gentlemen of different races, ages and um, ‘endowments.’ Personally, I think she and Ron Jeremy would be a perfect match.”

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