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Feb 20, 2014, 06:37AM

Talking With a Scientologist


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I mean, why would you want to? But if you must, a few pointers. Say you find yourself filling out one of those Stress Tests or Personality Tests or a Free Career Analysis or whatever they now call them. Don’t under any circumstances give them your real address, phone number or email. You’ll get stuff from them for years. They’ll never take you off their mailing list.

There’s a policy written by Ron Hubbard about the gross income being in direct ratio to the output of promotional material and keeping their stats up is very important. So lie about your personal contact info. Trust me on this.

Another thing—if you’re approached by a Scientologist and want to avoid a conversation, here’s a tip. Tell them that you’re on lines at CC or ASHO.

Make eye contact, don't blink or apologize and with as much Tone 40 as you can muster, tell them, that you can’t talk right now, and say you are working hard to pay for your next level.

If asked what your last level was, tell them Grade 3 or Zero or The Way to Happiness or your last action was the Purification Rundown. Just don’t break your stride. Keep your TR's in. Remember, you’re working hard to earn some money to pay for your next level and can’t dawdle.

Emphasize that. If they persist and you need to tell them anything, say you’re moving up the BRIDGE and this is DEV-T! (developed unnecessary traffic). And for god's sake, keep your TR’s in! (training regimens). And give them a firm ACK! Not a lilting half ACK that will invite more communication. You want this to stop, you need a firm ACK, one that will end the cycle.

And here's another tip: Good roads and fair weather. That’s what they call the type of communication that can be had with a WOG, that's you, if they want to keep the lines of communication open and avoid any sticky areas.

These conversations are generally safe, and non-antagonistic. How about them Dodgers? You get good mileage on that Prius? Warm enough for you? This is the stuff of good roads and fair weather. So, now you can do the same thing right back at ‘em to allow the time to pass safely and not ruffle feathers.

If for instance, you say something like, “How about Tom Cruise going nuts on that YouTube?” or “Is it true about Hubbard saying, If you want to make a million dollars, just start your own religion?” or “explain to me while keeping a straight face the Xenu story.”

This would not be good roads and fair weather chit-chat. This is the stuff that might be taken as antagonistic and threatening and perhaps could lead to you being labeled an SP, a suppressive person, and disconnection would follow.

I ran into an old Scientologist friend that I hadn’t seen in years and we were both happy to see each other, until I made it obvious where I now stood by saying, “I’m not into the cult any longer.” My old pal spun around on her heels and walked away.

So, if you want to participate in the life of a friend or family member that’s in the cult, if you want to enjoy the business you share, if you like where you’re living and don’t want to move, keep it light. Otherwise there is a distinct possibility that in their world you won’t exist. You’ll be dead to them and neither of you wants that.

On the path of good roads and fair weather, you just don’t talk about “it.” You get it?

  • I feel the same about anybody that's seriously religious, you know, one of the acceptable cults, but those true believers are growing fewer and fewer every day…

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