Pop Culture
May 23, 2011, 07:14AM

Bumper Stickers For People Who Don't Like Bumper Stickers

Sticker shock.

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·         Meaningless epigrams

·         “So like I was saying”

·         “This is not a bumper sticker”

·         “There is absolutely nothing special about this automobile or those who travel in it”

·         “Rectangular, colorful expression of unflagging enthusiasm for a band, sports team, or other cultural institution of note”

·         “Miniaturized Flag”

·         “This I Believe”

·         “What you’re feeling at this exact moment is wholesale indifference”

·         “I Fancy Myself Rather Clever, or Randy, or Politically Volatile, Or Maybe All Three At Once”

·         “I’d Rather Be Driving”

·         “Possibly”

·         “I do not wish to share my various prejudices and proclivities with you, and in denying you that pleasure, that leverage, I exercise a fleeting, unconscious control over you and how you perceive the immediate automotive milieu”

·         A white oval with a line running around the edge, but without any words, numbers, or symbols within, so that it’s almost as though you’re peering absently into the pupil-less eyelet of a superhero’s cowl – only on the back of a hatchback, which is hella weird

·         “This Is The End”

·         “I reject any and all aspirations you cast”

·         “This is not a bumper sticker”


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