On Campus
May 24, 2014, 11:03AM

A Note to Incoming Freshmen

Stay away from the accepted students Facebook page.

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What happens when you put 400 over-coddled college-bound Millennials in the same space on the Internet?

I have one piece of advice for college-bound high school seniors: never join the accepted students Facebook page. Ever. I’m not saying you can’t browse through all your potential classmates' photos from the outside. Feel free to judge them based on the Avicii quote that accompanies their profile pictures or the fact that they made the college logo their cover photos. Just don’t join that page.

Accepted student groups are cesspools of self-promotion. As often happens on the Internet, real-world social rules disappear and egotism runs amok. In accepted student groups it’s okay to post your AP exam scores or a five-stanza poem about how excited you are to meet everyone. People feel comfortable posting two-paragraph introductions recounting their life stories, how much they hate grammatical errors, their intended majors, and all the cute, weird, little things they do that make them special. All the future frat stars ask, “Who here likes to party?? hmu if you get turnt,” because, who wouldn’t want to be labeled as a douchebag before orientation begins? There are people who continually update the group on the college’s standing on the Forbes list. Others namedrop their coveted summer internships while asking, “Who else will be in New York City in July?” Students post pictures of their cats and stupid BuzzFeed links and talk about how “quirky, but shy” they are.

My favorite posts, though, are from students who just seem lost. There’s a lot of confusion about electronics: “Do Macs work at (name of college)? Or just PCs? Does one connect to the Internet better than the other?” or “Is there cell service in Ohio?” There are sad attempts to start conversation, such as “Who here likes TV?” or “Do you guys like books?”

My brother reassured me that the people who posted in his accepted student group were rarely seen or heard from again. This comforts me. It also comforts me to know that only a small fraction of the class actually posts in the group. I hope everyone else is as horrified as me. I realize I shouldn’t complain because I’m lucky to go to college. Yet I can't help but be a little disappointed that hundreds of intelligent students seeking higher education have nothing better to talk about than “13 Roommate Horror Stories That Will Make You Want To Live Alone Forever.”


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