Jun 01, 2010, 07:54AM

Google Suggest: Shocking stupidity revealed

What can be gleaned from a list of top Google searches?

One of Google’s latest gambits is “Google Suggest.” It’s now my new favorite way to amuse myself. As you begin to type, 10 suggestions of what the most popular searches are drop down. This also means that a seven-year-old will get the same results as me. While the suggestions are pretty interesting, I think it may be a step towards making people slightly more retarded.

Type in the word “why,” for example. Among the Top 10 suggestions I got were “Why can’t I own a Canadian,” “Why is my poop green” and “Why do dogs eat poop.” Are these questions my Americans are really pondering? According to Google, apparently so. If I type, “what is” I find nuggets like “What is a hob knocker” and “What is lady gaga’s real name.” If I go one step further and add “the,” Suggest gives me “what is the meaning of life” and of course, “what is the average peni size.” Yes, peni. By bringing the phrase to “what is the address” it is a little frightening that along with the White House, the Playboy Mansion and the Empire State building, a top searched address is “the jersey shore house.”

Here’s how Suggest works, as described by Google:

“As you type, Google Suggest returns search queries based on other users' search activities. These searches are algorithmically determined based on a number of purely objective factors (including popularity of search terms) without human intervention.”

It would also seem that people are looking to the Internet to tell their future. Simple searches garner suggestions like “what is the name of the person I will marry” and “will I have school tomorrow.” I know that these are legitimate questions in a desperate mind, but people can’t possibly think that the Internet can give them these answers. If you have to Google “how do I get pregnant,” there are many things you shouldn’t be doing and Googling is only one of them. This is plainly irresponsible of Google and the company is not helping my opinion of humanity at all.

  • If by 'latest' you mean 'launched in August 2008'! I don't think that the purpose is to suggest what people should be looking for - rather to provide a shortcut (albeit a very stupid one) for FAQs. But yes, the results have been a regular fixture on Failblog and Digg because they ARE so impossibly ridorkulous.

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  • hence why a free market will never work, people need regulation or else our stupidity takes over.

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  • It's a bittersweet symphony.

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  • Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. One Question asked was: Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? Google found that a lot of people linked to this article, so it appears at the top of the list.

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  • I wouldnt say this was a particularly "new" move by Google but still plenty amusing. I have seen some pretty funny suggested searches over the time but generally find by the third word they become pretty accurate. Also I believe geo comes into suggestions but as they dont have a social engine such as Facebook unfortunately they cant completely tailor to suit all. I have seen some pretty immensely funny lists on stumble upon of Google suggestions. :)

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