The Big Lebowski, as written by Shakespeare

CHORUS
GEOFFREY “THE KNAVE” LEBOWSKI
BLANCHE and WOO, two thugs
SIR WALTER of Poland
SIR DONALD of Greece
BRANDT, serving-man of the Big Lebowski
SIR GEOFFREY OF LEBOWSKI, the Big Lebowski
BONNIE LEBOWSKI, his wife
OLIVER, her consort
JACK SMOKE, a cavalier
MAUDE LEBOWSKI, daughter of the Big Lebowski
JOSHUA QUINCE, a pederast
LIAM O’BRIEN, his partner
Two NIHILISTS
PLAYER QUEEN
MISTRESS QUICKLY, hostess of a tavern
KNOX HARRINGTON, a tapestry artist
DOCTOR BUTTS, a physician
PLAYERS for a dance
LAURENCE SELLERS
CLOWN
JAQUES TREEHORN
BROTHER SEAMUS, an Irish monk
A GRAVEDIGGER