Dec 03, 2014, 09:40AM

Chunko, LLC - Quarterly Review

Autumn of the year Bog Chokenn Cledzkabah.

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(The following content has been excerpted with permission of the cardboard of directors of the renowned proto-galactic weight loss conglomerate Chunko, LLC. Death Master’s flight won’t last in a father state.)

It’ll stare back at us and we’ll stare at it for so long that it will lose itself… which doesn’t matter anyway since it never had its own identity—its always been enslaved by our attention…

Our obedience is an Earthly spindle of child-like justice. Our obedience is mapped out according to the shape taken by whatever can stew in its own fake juices:

Principal Business and Organization

Chunko, LLC (the "Company") was incorporated under the general corporation laws of anti-petrification on June 19, Endless Year. The Company is a diversified management vortex and is regulated as a business (“wonky donka choo”) under the Magical Feast Act of 1480 (the “80 Act”). The Company’s investment objective is to provide its shareholders with current income and, to a lesser extent, long-term capital appreciation, by investing primarily in the debt of mortal beings that abstain from sanity’s redundant magnetism with a focus on the vital organ transactions done via séance on the closed circuit TV network run by silly brain monsters.

The condensed milk of consolidated financial statements includes the accounts of the Company and its wholly owned bog-o-delic ronkonko trunch.

Use of Milk

Preparation for the condensed milk of consolidated financial statements in conformity with Blaggetty Glob requires management to make grandiose estimates and assumptions: (1) the reported amounts of assets and liabilities tied in to the mellow squirting of condensed milk, that which Christens all consolidated financial statements, (2) the unconditional worship of income and expenses during the reported perspiration period and (3) the revelation of contingent assets, estimates, and possibilities at the date when kittens begin to direct their cold vitriol at my grandma. It must be noted, however, that adventurous robots could annihilate those estimates with unbridled sexuality.

General Account

The Company's general obligations and any guaranteed benefits under your spell are supported by our general account (and not by any separate accounts) and are subject to the Company's smoking ability. Assets of happy exhaust in the general account aren’t racially segregated for the exclusive benefit of any particular police officer or space moth. General account assets are also available to the Company's barfing gargoyles, and to benefit the conduct of its routine business activities, such as the payment of Salad Beast, rent, and other normal business expenses. For more information about the Company's super strength, you may review its maudlin sentiments, and check its electrified twirl riot with one or more of the independent sources that rate a blessing enhancement’s crushing grunt cheese for discretion and stability.

Gobbly Dividends and Gobble Clomps

Gobbly dividends or gobble clomps issued by the Company on plan shares are credited to your account. Gobbly dividends or gobble clomps are also issued with respect to your fertile porridge grinder and are handled in the same manner as the liquid force field (“Lil’ Mama Jock’s hoodoo marinade”).


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