This year, the United States legalized a psychoactive liquor called absinthe. Ernest Hemingway used to favor it, as did Oscar Wilde. Some people claim that Vincent Van Gogh even cut his ear off while intoxicated from it.
I have always been a "try everything once" kind of guy. Although I didn't feel heavily depressed or like performing self-mutilation, I decided to buy a bottle and see what the hype was about.
I caved in and reluctantly bought a bottle and came home hoping for the best. Maybe I would have a vision or smell colors; perhaps something trippy to get my money's worth.
You are supposed to pour a couple ounces into a glass and then put a perforated spoon (an absinthe spoon) over the glass. Then you place a sugar cube on the spoon, drizzling cold water on the cube until it dissolves and drips down into the liquor.
This looked like the classy thing to do.
But I couldn't find sugar, so I picked up the bottle and chugged.
I barely got one swallow down before I began to gag. The taste is indescribably horrid. I have drunk straight Everclear and chew spit (on accident), yet I almost prefer those to the taste absinthe.
The major taste is black licorice - which I detest - mixed with feces.
To conclude, absinthe is a joke. It's expensive, it tastes apalling, and it apparently makes you pee your pants. Save your money and buy ten bottles of vodka, or whatever it is that you favor.
