Conservative media is running lately with the news that some experts in child development are saying it might be a good idea to ask a baby permission before changing his or her diaper. The idea’s presented as the latest example of wacko wokeism. As the grandfather of a new arrival that has yet to be potty-trained, I took notice. My daughter says that the idea is nothing new, has floated around in parental circles for a while now. I can pretty much guarantee that no one born before 2006 has ever heard of it.
When a diaper change is needed, the only question I’m asking is, “Isn’t there anyone else available?” I’ve changed my share. Though our little tyke is still in diapers, he’s really smart, grasping for language, understanding, and participation. He has two older sisters—there’s no “only child” dynamic at work. He’s learning that he needs to stand up and be counted in order to climb out of his situational playpen. When the girls are laughing uproariously at something, he’ll get in your face with a baby guffaw, though he has no idea what the joke is. “Screen-time” is a concept he’s grasping at an alarming speed: he follows the adventures of internet sensation Blippi much better than me.
As any parent knows, a 19-month-old has undergone thousands of changes. Should we start asking our baby permission now? Occasionally I’ll visit when the girls are in school, and will watch the toddler while my daughter runs to the store. If I say, “Listen Tate, is it okay if I go ahead and change this diaper?” I’m afraid he’s going to think I’ve lost my marbles.
In all seriousness, any parent, grandparent, or knowledgeable caregiver knows that diaper changes should be handled with sensitivity. It would be caregiver malpractice to convey to the child anything that might lead to negative associations around bodily functions. A happy baby will integrate his or her need to be changed as a routine occurrence devoid of anxiety. Soon, those boxes of diapers will become distant memories of a baby who’s grown up and knows how to take care of his or her own business.
But you can’t blame conservatives for ridiculing the idea of asking permission to change a diaper. Talk about a Me Too “movement.” And despite all the well-meaning guidance experts have offered, there’s one question they haven’t answered. What if the baby says no?
