On Campus
Apr 28, 2011, 11:30AM

Teachers Wanted, Non-Sexy

What Judy Buranich, 10th grade English teacher, can and can't do on her days off.

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News yesterday from Snyder County, Pennsylvania (about an hour north of Harrisburg) that some parents of kids at Midd West High School aren't too happy about an English teacher's extracurricular activities. Judy Buranich, a 33-year—or 25-year, depending on what shitty, bum-fuck paper you read—veteran teacher at Midd West, is also a racy romance novelist published under the pseudonym Judy Mays. And despite Buranich never bringing her books to school, never talking about her books with students, and never working on her books except at home, some parents think it's inappropriate.

As Deanna Stepp—who obviously has a remarkable grasp of the English language herself—told The Daily Item: "We are not questioning Mrs. Buranich’s teaching credentials. We are not even questioning her ability as a writer... What we’re questioning is that the two jobs are not compatible with one another."

And please, before you do anything else, watch the video local station WNEP posted two days ago.

Two things: 1) Why is it always the most unfuckable hillbilly skags that bring this stuff up? You never see any rockin' hot MILFs goin' all Mrs. Lovejoy "Won't somebody please think of the children!" on the five o'clock news. And do they honestly think their 10th grade kids aren't already thinking about sex, or having it? "Now my son knows so how is he thinking when he's sitting in her class knowing what she does on the side." Trust me, your son didn't find out about sex from Buranich's novels, and if he did, well, you live in Snyder County, just be thankful your kid can read at all.

And 2) How shitty must it be to teach nowadays? You make absolutely no money, you work 60 or more hours a week, you have to deal with all the administrative bureaucracy and fucked up, No Child Left Behind curriculum, and then, if all of that weren't enough, you have these fat, lazy parents who never once read their kid a book but are now incredibly concerned about what exactly you do on a Saturday night. "[It's] unethical, totally unacceptable. Period," said Wendy Apple. "It just sort of sickens and saddens me to know everybody’s sort of looking at this like, hey, this is OK." Thankfully Wendy, you have options: like, say, home-schooling or maybe just letting your kid drop out so he can have an early start on his career as a gas station attendant or a meth addict.

Support Judy Buranich, buy one of her books.


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