May 01, 2009, 05:51AM

Mule-Fucker Wants Georgia to Secede

Georgia Creator's Rights Party candidate Neal Horsley has a bizarre sexual past, and is ready to kill his own son to secede from the U.S

Yep. There was no way we weren't going to ask about that one. It was just a matter of how. We worked in the question somewhat delicately this way: "So, as a candidate for Governor, are you worried about any skeletons in your closet that might get aired in the course of the campaign?""No, that's why I'm running for Governor because I don't have any skeletons in my closet," he says. " I’ve talked about things people would never have talked about. Any skeletons I have, I take them out and rattle them around.""What kinds of things?" I ask.Without missing a beat, he says, "You know what you’re thinking about has been out there...""We're talking about the mule now?"Yes, he says. The mule."A small mule?" I ask."No, a full grown mule," he says. "She loved me, though."We both laugh, but I'm still trying to figure out the logistics. How big is this thing? The size of a horse, he says."All I had to do was give her an ear of corn." He laughs again. "She was a [prostitute] mule.""How did you reach?""I don't know... I stood on something. The kicker is, as soon as I was done she pissed all over me. It was embarrassing. I never told anyone that before."That's right, my friends. This is an Underground exclusive. Not only that, but Horsley has had sex with men. He was in the Air Force, it was a cold night, yadda, yadda, yadda, he had sex with him, ahem, the way he did the mule. "It was gross," he says.Really? He hadn't described the mule that way.


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