Splicetoday

Pop Culture
Sep 02, 2008, 08:14AM

Hard Hitting Journalism For The 21st Century

You ever read a blurb about feces in a bathroom book and think it would make an interesting spread in a magazine? The folks at Vice are pioneering this new style of writing with a pooping contest. They subjected four volunteers to a battery of poop-inducing exercises, then waited to see who went first. Oh, and they wore diapers. Pulitzer nominations can be sent here.

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Over the course of eight hours in a balmy living room, two guys and two ladies consume the following “natural” laxatives: a saltwater tonic, tea, bad Mexican food, cigarettes, coffee, beer, rum, and caffeinated soda. Peeing is allowed, but defecation must take place off the toilet (an official excreta ref was present throughout the event to ensure no BMs took place covertly). Whoever shits first loses. Safety concerns warranted adult diapers and a vinyl dollar-store bed cover for the futon.

Hours five and six featured more laxative tea and a second saltwater cleanse, along with more cigarettes, a tobacco-leaf-wrapped blunt, and beer. Then, for 30 minutes, it was a YouTubed Sweatin’ to the Oldies workout. Afterward, they “rested” on their right sides (a position that supposedly encourages swift passages through the viscera). Jacob said he felt sick and he farted in Grace’s face numerous times.

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