Splicetoday

Pop Culture
Jul 30, 2008, 07:44AM

Child Abuse With A Laugh Track

In the late 80s and early 90s television executives went through a collective obsession with absurdly difficult child game shows. The contestents were put through embarssing tasks that had no relation at all to skill, then given lame consolation prizes to make them feel better after a studio audience laughed at them. Eventually these shows faded away, but with the Lord of the Flies-inspired Kid Nation on the airwaves we can all still be entertained by struggling children. Nice to know society's grown up. Here's a look back at a classic era of television.

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Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (1991-1996)

Yes, the entire challenge depends on the child being able to carry around idiotic light poles that are approximately as big as their entire body. The majority of the time limit ticks off while the girl in the above video tries to line up the wobbly things on the exact spot on the floor, knowing that if she knocks one over and breaks it, PBS can use their government sway to get the IRS to take it out of your parents next tax refund.

Thus Angelique up there loses the bonus round, even though she clearly knows her geography and misses out on a trip.

I’m Telling! (1987-1988)

That's right, in order to win this game, you not only have to humiliate your brother or sister on national Saturday morning television, you also had to incriminate your parents and provide Child Protective Services the evidence they need to rip you from your family and stick you in a foster home. Even Laurie Faso seems uncomfortable when the adorable little freckle faced girl specifies that her parents spank her brother "with a belt."

 

 

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