Politics & Media
Aug 15, 2023, 06:27AM

High Times with Hunter Biden

Hunter Biden has presented us with the most well-documented life of debauchery of a public figure we've seen.

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The reactions to a Hunter Biden video that recently made its rounds on social media are 100 percent predictable. The clip's a snapshot of a life of nihilistic sensual indulgence fueled by, as with a Saudi prince, cash that only requires the right last name to acquire. The international work required of Hunter involved setting up meetings, and then waiting for bank deposits to post, which amounted to about  $11 million from Ukraine and China alone from 2013-18 for his firm.

The setting of the racy video's a $4100 per night Malibu rental, which the "smartest" person Joe Biden "has ever known" is seen stripping down to nothing and descending down a water slide into a swimming pool. Later on, the then 48-year-old Yale Law School grad does a little dance in the bathroom with a big smile on his face while snorting what's probably cocaine. Still photos from the laptop show him engaging in group sex with hookers at the luxury Airbnb.

Getting paid $80,000 a month to sit on the Burisma board because you're Joe Biden's son—otherwise known as "influence peddling"—can fund some wild orgies, and Burisma's just the start. In fairness to the only surviving son of the president who was once called the "senator from MBNA," he didn't bogart all the foreign loot up for grabs from countries like China, Mexico, Romania, Russia and Ukraine. Nine members of the Biden family allegedly received foreign payments as well. The House Oversight Committee has stated that the Biden family and its allies have received $20 million from foreign sources, some of whom dined with Joe Biden.

Those leaning Democrat will react to yet another "hookers and blow" Hunter Biden revelation by bemoaning the horrors of drug addiction and making the standard claim that such behavior has nothing to do with America’s elderly president. GOP-leaners, suspicious of the Hunter-Joe "bags of money" alleged business connection, aren’t so forgiving. And then there's the third type of reaction to the video, coming from the frat bro types and gamer nerds who dream of a life of drug-fueled sex marathons. To them, Hunter Biden's the coolest guy on the planet.

All political considerations aside, it's clear that Hunter Biden has presented us with the most well-documented life of debauchery of a public figure we've seen. There's a frenetic quality to the pursuit of his sleazy vices that brings to mind the degenerate-gambling-themed Safdie brothers' film, Uncut Gems, which I liked but was relieved to see end. While there're loads of stories about Charlie Sheen's similar louche exploits, the actor who once crowed about "winning" was at least smart enough not to have all of his wins stored on a laptop he dropped off for repair and then never picked up.

Drug addiction is terrible, but few have the means and the free time to do it in the lavish style Hunter Biden enjoyed while recording the sleaze for… reminiscing? My sympathy for this particular addict is tempered by the luxury in which he indulged himself as he made his tortured way through life in high-end hotel rooms and fast cars. Apparently there are websites (Marjorie Taylor Green's probably familiar with them) that voyeurs can visit to see the uncut Hunter Biden material from his laptop, but I'll take their word for it that it's salacious and unseemly.

Normally it's true that the raunchy personal life of a POTUS son isn’t a real news story. If the president's son likes to get naked and wave around an illegally-obtained handgun in a hotel room while doing crack with a hooker, as one photo depicts, that's his prerogative—he's not an elected official. The problem for the Democrats is that the laptop they once assured us was Russian disinformation—their old standby—contains some incriminating information involving Joe Biden—the "Big Guy"?—that the laptop has revealed. The media hates this story and has buried the details, so a bunch of partisans are in for a shock when the picture starts coming together. Isn't it odd that the guy who used to brag about being the poorest guy in the Senate is so wealthy now?

On TV shows like The View the public learns that Joe Biden is a loving father who only wanted what was best for Hunter, but what sort of loving father ferries his drug-addicted son around the world on Air Force Two so he can get paid millions for selling the Biden name? The first rule of parenting a drug addict is to cut off their cash. Instead, the parent made it easy for his sick kid to access bags full of cash without having to do any work for it. It's a dope fiend's dream come true.

Why would any parent enable his son to behave in a way that could lead to his destruction? I'd point out this 2019 email—on the laptop—from Hunter to his daughter Naomi: "I hope you all can do what I did and pay for everything for this entire family for 30 years. It’s really hard. But don’t worry, unlike pop, I won’t make you give me half your salary." Since when does a father make his son pay all his bills? One possibility is that it was a quid pro quo involving a sneaky method of making cash transfers without the funds showing up in any bank accounts.

Hunter Biden is now a painter with an NYC dealer who rocketed to the top without paying any dues, which is the story of his life. He's keen on having Hollywood make a biopic of him, which his laptop demonstrates. Perhaps he'd like to be portrayed as a modern day Lord Byron, another famous drug abuser and womanizer. Byron had a relationship with his half-sister, while Hunter had one with his sister-in-law. Byron was a debauched supernova who was exiled from England and died at 36, but Hunter's got more staying power.

A sharp judge has thrown out his sketchy plea deal, and a trial is possible. If so, Hunter Biden may be held accountable for his bad behavior for the first time in his life. And if he no longer is granted immunity from prosecution for past crimes, as the ditched plea deal called for, his dad has even more reason to worry.


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