On Monday, I witnessed a remarkable bidirectional example of bad movie theater behavior. Etiquette at the movies has always been loose and largely unspoken, and the few prohibitions common across all kinds of theater—no smoking, no talking, no phones, no cameras—are reiterated so often they’ve long since become background noise, just another signal to your brain to start dreaming. People can get very annoyed, even angry, at the movies by behavior that wouldn’t muster a blink anywhere else: whispering, walking slowly, not sitting down, and flagrant smartphone usage, which is basically allowed everywhere else against all odds. Movie theaters are one of the only public spaces left free of open phones and their zombie owners, and it’s not because of the bumpers that play before the movie; moviegoers themselves defend and maintain the sanctity of the theater, policing themselves—another sign that “the movies” as an idea, a place, “a territory” as Jean-Luc Godard said, remains intact, if diminished.
Rudeness doesn’t reign in the cinema. I went to see Dr. No on Monday, the first James Bond movie, one without an opening sequence. The film begins with the series’ iconic bloody barrel roll and John Barry’s inimitable theme song over Maurice Binder’s still stylish credits. Here’s where the trouble starts: there’s a guy one row up and three seats over, and before the movie, he was talking to his female companion about Mondo Cane—in other words, this is a movie geek, one who should know better. The credits start, the theme song’s rocking, and this guy gets out his phone, holds it above his head, and starts taking pictures of the screen with the flash on. Keep in mind, he’s in the first row; he gets one off, then tries another before someone all the way back in the theater starts screaming. At first he’s indistinct, though clearly angry; his second call is clear as a bell: “PUT THAT PHONE AWAY NOW!” The room got heavy. The credits are still moving, but the guitar riff’s gone. The first five minutes, the most important part of any movie, have been tainted by both of these assholes before we’ve even been able to hear the concluding Bond chord (Em/maj9).
What was the guy in the front row thinking? He looked like he was 60, give or take a few years, and he had a cane—well, not a medical cane, but a tree branch, a walking stick, a crooked piece of wood you might find by the side of the road after a rainstorm (for all I know it was a medical cane, done up and painted the color of wood but really made of polycarbonate something something). He had glasses with thick, black frames and a gray goatee—I won’t go any further. Needless to say, I didn’t get a look at the screamer in the back. I left Dr. No as the end credits were rolling, and was just out the door when that Em/maj9 chord rang out. I had no desire to see the face of the man who so disturbed the atmosphere in the theater at the start of the movie, regardless of his intentions. He was right to tell off the guy in the front, but to project across the entire auditorium? I’m not even sure he knew the effect that would have. The guy in the front never took his phone out again, and the rest of the movie was fine, but everyone in there will remember the stir for much longer than you think.
What could’ve been done? Well, the guy in the back should’ve taken it upon himself to get up, walk up the entire length of the aisle, lean in to the guy with the cane, and politely but sternly tell him to put his phone away. “Put your phone away now”—these are perfect words, beautiful words, but they must be quiet. Continue to keep the peace, don’t cause too much collateral damage. Stay cool—you know you’re in the right. Who doesn’t hate flagrant smartphone use in movie theaters? I’m sure the guy with the cane hates it, too! But he was thinking of himself, just as selfish as the guy in the back who couldn’t be bothered to stand up and go handle the situation discreetly.
There were no further interruptions, and everyone clapped at the end. But they’ll remember the situation, bad in both directions, even if they continue to use their phones in movie theaters, and even if they have to continue keeping the peace in a space some still consider sacred.
—Follow Nicky Otis Smith on Twitter: @NARCFILM