Oct 26, 2012, 04:39AM

An Early Christmas Wish List

Santa, can you hook a couple of these up?

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A hand-drawn holiday card.

Uninterrupted, coma-like slumber.

Volume II of The Bloom County Library.

Frost limning the windshield on a weekend morning.

Yuletide merriment, seasonal good feeling.

The opposite of writer’s block.

Looper, or maybe Contagion.

Metallic keychain of less-than-immediate provenance, definition, or purpose. 

A work week without meetings.

Hours upon hours reading, with my son.

A sudden burst of speed.

Parking near the entrance.

Good tickets to something, anything.

Neil Young, Psychedelic Pill.

A cologne that successfully projects sophistication and mystery; ponderous cologne. 

A Serenity Prayer tattoo in a distressed Black Metal band font.

The sun rising on the horizon.

An out-of-the-blue invitation to contribute artistically to an outlet that is, arguably, above my station and ability.

Unexpected songs capable of rewiring my cerebral circuitry without disarming me.

Just a tie, any tie.

The experience of hallowed Christmas standards minus any attendant, buzz-killing derision.

Justice, or a reasonable enough facsimile.

A handful of dust.

An imperfect but largely acceptable steward to steer the domestic economy into calmer waters.

Rachel Maddow, Drift.

Actionable incoherence.

A phone booth-sized Buddha machine I can climb into and close behind me, that when locked from the inside becomes indiscernible to the outside world, so a pocket dimension kind of deal—like how when I was a kid I would imagine that heaven was just a comfortable isolated space where I could eat and endless supply of Dunkin’ Donuts and drink vanilla milkshakes and just read a mountain of comic books, forever—only, you know, this would be more of an adult-life-is-bullshit decompression chamber sort of thing.

Baltimore Ravens circling the Super Bowl.

Happy holidays texts from unfamiliar numbers.

A mere illusion of certainty.

A sign.


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