I'm never going swimming again

The Legend:So you're swimming around the pool and you pass by the humming filter, sucking debris out of the water. "Hey, watch out!" yells one of your friends. "I know a guy who totally got his dick stuck in one of those!"The Truth:Did you dream about being a cop when you were a kid? Chasing bad guys and sliding over the hoods of cars? Well, here's a nice story for you that gives you a better idea of the day-to-day life of a law enforcement officer.The police force in Lakeland, FL responded to a call from the Scottish Inn motel. The clerk had called 911 just before 5 A.M. because who else do you call when a customer tries to hump your aquatic equipment and is then unable to free himself?Cops arrived and did what they assumed would save the day by shutting off the pump. Problem solved, right?They could only wish. For those who've never spent a half hour or so playing penis tug-o-war with a suction filter, the result is massive swelling that, as it turns out, prohibits wang removal even when the pump is shut off.Feeling not quite up to the task of shlong-liberation and assuming additional humiliation for the dude in the pool was in order, paramedics were called in. Presumably a pretty huge crowd had gathered at this point, to enjoy a solid hour of heavy lube application and group tugging until finally someone was able to make a poetic Free Willy joke and the man was taken to the hospital.