Splicetoday

Pop Culture
Mar 06, 2009, 10:04AM

Field trip

A high-school teacher recounts getting dosed by one of his students. It involves a book store, flowers and The Lorax.

Hey, shit happens:

I headed for the door. I asked Marsha the bookstore owner to tell the students to meet in the park after they finished. She flashed me a curious look, as what I really said was "Mettledeparkwhenrstudentsrdun-geddinbooks." Somehow she understood "park," "done" and "books," which were the key words.

As I passed the register, Marsha asked me a question. I could not answer, as it sounded like she asked it in a foreign language. Keep going, don't hit anyone, and don't knock over anything, just focus and keep going. I had once tripped over a dead seal on the beach in Santa Barbara during a college acid experience; it had put me in such a bad mood that I'd spent the next two hours curled in a ball, rocking back and forth crying.

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