Politics & Media
Jan 06, 2009, 07:20AM

We'll always have Vegas

The Republicans are fleeing DC before the Inauguration of Barack Obama.

Politico trotted out the bug guns with this piece on the mass exodus of Republicans from the nation’s capital so as to get out of the way of the inaugural festivities/bedlam.  It seems a hotspot is Vegas—and you know, in this time of economic turmoil, just because the odds at the roulette table are stacked against you by not figuring the zero and double-zero (and probably other reasons as well), it’s probably a better bet than almost anything on the stock market.

Europe is mentioned, specifically Switzerland. Personally, I’d love to see some free-market hawks join forces with Björk over in Iceland. Think about it. Just as Congress often uses the tiny colony of Washington, DC as a test tube for policy, Iceland would be great for out-of-power Republican economists to rebuild their bona fides.

But back to Vegas, I’m picturing an interpretation of that scene in Rounders where all of the card sharks are chewing the fat at a card table and a slew of unknowing boobs sit down at the empty seat, only to be totally fleeced. You’ve got Bush, Cheney, Rice, Norm Coleman, Georgia Republican Rep. Lynn Westmoreland and Jonah Goldberg at the blackjack table. A lone liberal blogger sits down, cosmo in his sweaty palm and a President Obama tiara askew.

Blogger: Hey, you guys mind if I sit in?

[All nod, barely smiling; cue festive trip-hop soundtrack]

Blogger: Man, how about that. President Obama. Hey, a round of drinks on me.

Jonah: Oh yeah, man. Score one for the end of the culture wars. The fascists pulled through.

Blogger: Excuse me?

Cheney: Laughing He’s messing with you kid.

Westmoreland: Yeah, the boy will do fine.

Blogger: Boy?

Well, it goes on. Suffice to say that poor blogger will leave the casino with a few hundred dollars in the form of a tax rebate—after losing thousands to health care and the like.

Where were the Democrats during the Bush inaugurations? I’m thinking they rented out a warehouse and played World of Warcraft all night long.


Register or Login to leave a comment