The sign shown above—at one of GBMC’s doors in Baltimore County—always tickles me because it’s so ridiculous. GBMC is an excellent hospital—it’s where I had a smooth appendectomy 10 years ago, and the family doctor is aces; I rue the day he retires—but the “The possession of any and all dangerous weapons is PROHIBITED on these premises” warning is toothless. I’m not sure who’d enter a hospital with a Glock or machete, but there’s no metal detector at the door, so it’s about as effective as a “No spitting” sign you see occasionally on the streets.
Six days before the midterm elections—which likely favor the Democrats, but there’s no way to really tell—The New York Times, in particular, is issuing warnings that Donald Trump can’t be trusted to abide by the results. It’s always January 6th—a day that will live in infamy more than any other in American history—for his opponents, even though I don’t recall any “interference” allegations by Trump in 2018 when the Democrats gained 41 seats in the House to take control of that Congressional chamber.
On Oct. 21st, former Clinton Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin wrote (or his stand-in did, perhaps collaborator Jacob Weisberg) a “Guest Essay for the Times, “In Six Decades of Public Life, I Never Though I Would Write This Piece,” which was as meaningless as the “no weapons” sign at GBMC, although more hyperbolic. He writes: “Nov. 3 could be a defining test for the rule of law in this country, and both our democracy and our prosperity are on the line… There is a chance—some would argue a likelihood—that the midterms will proceed smoothly and honestly… There is also the possibility that the election will be, like so much else over the past two years, chaotic at best and lawless at worst.”
And there’s also the possibility that Barack Obama (childishly jealous that Trump has rendered his two-term presidency so irrelevant that it might as well have occurred 50 years ago) will refrain from racism when campaigning for Abdul El-Sayed, or a tornado will take out the entire state of Pennsylvania. Come to think of it, there’s the possibility that later today a hailstorm will break five windows in my Baltimore home. You never know!
More comical than Rubin’s dry talking points was—surprise! surprise! surprise!—Nicholas Kristof’s variation on the same theme that was published in the Times last Sunday. Mr. “Dog Rape” started slowly: “America’s midterm elections will probably be determined primarily by issues like affordability… [But] the principles and strategies that over multiple generations have made the United States the world’s leading nation in effect are on the ballot, and these midterms mark a potential turning point.”
Translated: Kristof and his compatriots are wishin’ and hopin’ that Trump (currently gorging himself at Obama’s new Cheesecake Factory on Martha’s Vineyard; it’s fancy, the $70 million faux socialist spared no cost) will “invoke the Insurrection Act and dispatch troops to crush protests or seize ballot boxes.” That possibility makes Kristof drool, like Scrooge McDuck, seeing the dollar signs from the continued “Orange Man” commentary.
Bruce Springsteen was apparently unavailable—maybe he was on a secret “staycation” with New Jersey’s Chris Christie—but this Kristof nugget will suffice. “’This is the greatest heist in the history of the world: stealing America,’ the singer Bono said of what has unfolded. Everything we love is on the line,’ he told me. So these are the stakes in the elections: Will we accept the loss? Or will we try to get our nation back?”
Where did the United States go? I wasn’t aware it was missing. Bono’s doing a Bono—who’d be surprised if he showed up at the White House for a formal dinner in December, flanked by Melania and Barron?—but you might think he’d confine political commentary to his native Ireland, a country which, like a lot of “old Europe,” is taking antisemitism to a level not seen in decades.
The Wall Street Journal’s Matthew Hennessey jotted down some fightin’ words on Oct. 22 that contradict Kristof and Rubin. He writes: “Many Americans have convinced themselves they are living in a stagnant, unjust hellhole. They have trouble accepting what visiting Europeans can clearly see. Americans have more, give more, can do more, and live better than anyone in history.”
That’s a touch jingoistic for my taste—recalling the noxious slogan “America, love it or leave it” from my youth—but I believe Hennessey is sincere. Sincerity won’t fix the world’s collapse of semi-reliable media, but it’s preferable to Kristof’s Doom-For-Profit prophecies.
—Follow Russ Smith on Twitter: @MUGGER2023