Do you remember the day / in old LA? I think that’s how the song goes. Maybe I’m thinking of The Scorpions. You may think they’re goofy, but I really like them. I like hair metal, heavy metal, death metal, speed metal, all of it. I go to Maryland Death Fest—incognito. My favorite band is Rammstein and my favorite musician is John Coltrane. But I can’t think about music right now; I’m an actor, and a professional at that. I’m getting into the groove now. There’s only so much to do on an empty movie set. Production’s paused on The Continuing Adventures of Cliff Booth, at least for me: the official “preproduction” stage has begun, and actors are being cast—other actors—and locations—other locations—are being scouted. We’re all in this together, so I’ll be clear on one point: I’ve been making this movie with Mr. Tarantino and Mr. Fincher “only the sly” for a few months now.
We shot some “flashback scenes” that may or may not make the movie, but they’ll “definitely be in the trailer,” I’ve been assured. I’ve met Elizabeth Debicki, very nice lady, and we’ve had dinners, but the rest of the cast and crew have yet to be put together. There was the minor hiccup with the scaffolding and a piece of embroidery that offended someone on the crew, but we avoided a Bill Murray Being Mortal situation and fired everyone who wasn’t cooperating. Harvey Weinstein is in jail but it’s as if #MeToo never happened over here. I don’t mean anyone’s been raped or even talked down to, I just mean nobody’s uptight. Used to be you had to believe in the COVID-19 hoax and fly to New Zealand to make a movie—now you can just smoke a joint on your porch and use your info to make some dope content to post later. It’s still “platforms” out there, but at least there’s lots of them.
I’ve been living like The Killer in that David Fincher movie The Killer. Every morning, I wake up in the empty production offices and spy on people next door with binoculars. I don’t have a gun, but I have an iPod, and I like to go to McDonald’s around 7:30 every morning. They have very good coffee and plain syrup McMuffins. If you think I’m a hypocrite I’d ask you to consider the non-poultry options available at the restaurant. I respect the Golden Arches. How can you not? Billions and Billions Sold. That says something. What, I don’t know, but it’s something.
Apparently, I was making too much of a mess (no one thought to leave a trashcan), so a PA was sent to fetch me and bring me back for a proper production meeting at the movie’s “official” offices in Century City. Just before the PA grabbed me, I leaned over the edge of the balcony; she freaked out, grabbed me too hard, I went to spur claw her, but she had FALCONER GLOVES ON, and I was restrained, baby I was restrained. Best discipline I ever had. Thank you, Mr. Weinstein. Everything’s coming up Bennington now because of you.
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