Moving Pictures
Mar 01, 2010, 11:13AM

Coffee Bean comment cards from a recently laid off Tonight Show writer

It's not all money and fame.

Dear 17-year-old-looking Coffee Bean barista named Jim,
Thank you for your noticing my Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien sweatshirt and, without any sense of hesitation, inquiring into my severance package with NBC just as I began to place my drink order. Seeing as you and I go back a whole 16-seconds, I feel you (more than anyone) have a right to know if I made "eleventy-billion dollars" from this whole Late-Night fiasco. To be completely honest, that's a bit of a misconception spread about by the press. We're not really rich, Jim. In some ways, I feel partially responsible for perpetuating this myth. I may have confused you a few moments ago when I walked into this Coffee Bean establishment and ordered 56 free samples of the same type of coffee. 56 orders of coffee is pretty "high roller." But between you, me and the sheets, Jim, I was just planning on sneaking into your store's bathroom to combine those free samples into a medium-sized Coffee Bean cup I stole when you weren't looking. Speaking of which, can I get the bathroom key, Jim?Sincerely,
Laid-Off Tonight Show Staffer


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