The Digital Moses Has Spoken

Thou shalt let us play your game with real-life friends. The advantage that consoles have over, say, PCs, is that you can play from your comfy sofa. The reason the sofa is considered the pinnacle of furniture technology is because there's room for other people on it. Sorry, you know damned well that technical limitations aren't the reason everyone is dropping split screen. Every previous generation had it, in times with much less powerful systems and few widescreen TVs. You're dropping it because four players on a split screen are playing off one $60 copy of the game. Four players playing online need four copies ($240). And these are the same people who're baffled about how the Nintendo Wii was able to depants the whole industry with its cheap, underpowered little machine. Hey, maybe it's because they're the one company that still seems to realize humans need interaction with other humans. Real interaction, not trash talking over a headset behind fake names. It's a small thing, but it means a guy can get his girlfriend in on the action and cut off her complaints that his gaming is taking away from his time with her.  So when she comes over, do you think he's going to put on his GTA IV headset, or pop in Mario Galaxy? Here's a hint: The second choice gets him closer to touching boob. Thou shalt not force repetition on the player. Here's a very simple rule: Humans only find repetition enjoyable when they choose it. Let's say you sit on your bed one afternoon and, out of boredom, fling playing cards at a hat for two hours straight, just to pass the time. You amuse yourself trying to hit 10 in a row. Now imagine it's later in the evening and you're about to have sex with your girl. Suddenly she sits up, her boobies hanging out, and says, "Wait! We can't do it until you fling 10 cards into that hat over there! It's a rule in the obscure religion I practice!" Will you enjoy the card flinging this time? No, and in fact the repetition you found enjoyable before will become maddening, as you flip cards around your frustrated, wilting manhood. Well some video games are like tossing cards: sports games, fighting games, racing games. The fun is in repeating and practicing them. But other mission-based games are like having sex. There's a specific progression and goal in mind, and repetitive interruption only ruins the mood. Better graphics do not equal innovation and/or creativity. Here are the three competing new-gen consoles, adjusted so that their size roughly reflects how powerful their hardware is in relation to each other. <img src="/vault/posts/0000/1709/xbox_medium.jpg" border="0" alt="Xbox_medium" width="313" height="228" />   Here are the same three consoles, adjusted so that their size reflects their worldwide sales in 2007: <img src="/vault/posts/0000/1713/xbox2_medium.jpg" border="0" alt="Xbox2_medium" width="315" height="296" /> Fascinating <a href="http://vgchartz.com/hwcomps.php?cons1=Wii%C2%AE1=All&cons2=PS3%C2%AE2=All&cons3=X360%C2%AE3=All&start=39089&end=39453&weekly=1" target="c">how that worked out</a>. And yet, guys like Epic games president Mike Capps <a href="http://www.megatonik.com/2008/04/20/mike-capps-says-epic-games-wont-ever-make-a-game-for-the-wii-we-go-forward-not-back/" target="c">are out there making stupid-ass statements</a> about how they would never lower themselves to develop for the Wii because that would be "going backward." This is epidemic in an industry that defines "innovation" purely by graphical horsepower and nothing else. Guys like him are utterly baffled that anyone could ever want a Wii, just because it, you know, offers a completely new playing experience. Sure, hard-core gamers know the difference, they know the game is a marvel of technology. The rest of us just want to have fun, or be told a good story. David Wong video game playstation xbox wii fun play time computer Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ilovemypit/" target="_blank">ilovemypit</a> the-feed

2008-05-30T15:51:45-04:00

Here a writer hilariously breaks down the  common sense commandments all video games should follow. Even if you think XBox 360 might be a porn movie, you can still understand where this guy is coming from.

759 the-digital-moses-has-spoken

2008-05-30T15:58:13-04:00

true false

true

false

The Digital Moses Has Spoken

#<Image:0x2ada1b2a4480>

2008-09-18T04:47:45-04:00

http://www.cracked.com/article_16196_7-commandments-all-video-games-should-obey.html

177